14 March, 2012

Rape, Gurgaon, Yawn

Gurgaon tells women to stay at home after 8 pm: IBNLive

I'm sure this is what the Gurgaon administration meant when it said women should stay at home after 8pm :

I mean, drunk women (or men) are not safe on the roads, especially if they're driving. No?
Because I refuse to believe that the Gurgaon admin can be foolish enough to put forward such a suggestion. This will NOT stop rapes. Period.

13 March, 2012

How to keep a wife happy.

Like a typical wife, I asked my husband, B a typical question on a typical day of our typically married life.

"Why do you love me & why did you marry me?"

Ok, I asked him two questions, not one.

Let me tell you here, that B, the husband has had this question thrown at him in various manners & on various occasions; at different times of the day, in various tones & moods of his capricious wife.
And B is smart enough to understand that this is no simple question which has a standard answer; his wife expects a different & deep answer every time.

Every answer should be in sync with the events of that particular day & should in fact, be a response to a kind act of love that his wife might have done for him.

So when I asked him "Why do you love me & why did you marry me?", he said without missing a beat, “I don’t know”.

“I don’t know why I love you. And it’s good that I don’t know. For if I knew the reasons & if some day those reasons cease to exist, then so might my love. So it’s good that I don’t know the reason.”

And he finished this off with his typical satisfactory, self-congratulatory head-nod and I knew what he was thinking.

“B, you are a genius. For you have discovered an answer that will fit every occasion, time & mood of your adorably irritating wife. An answer that will not invite any further prodding from her, for she would be caught up in the romance & the awww-someness of it”.

And this is how he keeps me happy. The husband.

08 March, 2012

International Women's Day on Facebook = Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V

It's International Women's Day! It's time to google quotes & make them your FB status! 

I did the same & guess what? I realised that a lot of my "witty" friends had pasted quotes without giving credit ;) I shouldn't have been surprised. 

Anyhow, I googled "Women's Day Quotes" too & I found so many good ones, I couldn't pick one. So here they are:

"I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they're the first to be rescued off sinking ships.”- Gilda Radner

"Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself." - Roseanne Barr (This is my favourite)

"Make-up can only make you look pretty on the outside but it doesn't help if you're ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the make-up." - Audrey Hepburn 

"Big girls don't cry? Yeah, they do. They cry 'cos they're fat, they cry 'cos they can't get a boyfriend, and they cry 'cos there's no trifle left." - Sarah Millican

In response to a letter from her editor asking for more stories during her honeymoon:"I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa." - Dorothy Parker (This one is so apt & made me miss Goa so god damn much)

"The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public." - Phyllis Diller

"For most of history, Anonymous was a woman." - Virginia Woolf

"Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid." - Rita Rudner

"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career." - Gloria Steinem

"I don't care if you think I'm racist, I just want you to think I'm thin." - Sarah Silverman

"How do you know if it's time to wash the dishes and clean your house? Look inside your pants. If you find a penis in there, it's not time." - Jo Brand

"A woman is like a tea bag: you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water." - Eleanor Roosevelt

"I'm not denying that the women are foolish: God Almighty made them to match the men." - George Eliot

"I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it." - Marilyn Monroe

"I love women. They're the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's fine" – Mel Gibson